It’s important you give yourself time to grieve and feel sad. But when it starts to impact your life, you need to have a strategy in place to get you back on track to being your gorgeous, bright self.
Breakups. You feel like your heart’s fallen out of your ass and a bus has run over it. Not even a jumbo jar of Nutella is going to make you feel good. You’re getting advice from friends who have had one breakup in their life. You’re googling and watching videos of people on YouTube telling you, you need to clear your heart chakra if you ever intend to love again.
Being a female these days is hard enough. It’s even worse when you can’t stop your busy life to cry because some idiot broke your heart. So head, heels and standards high ladies; Here are 10 things I do when I’m going through a breakup or mending a broken heart.
1. Cry much as you want
People think for some reason that if you just hold back the tears and move on that you’ll be better for it. Not exactly. It’s important if you’re feeling a particular emotion that you really feel it. Don’t bottle it up. If you feel angry go punch a pillow or shout or scream. Just get it all out and don’t beat yourself up for doing so. You’re allowed to be upset.
Find a supportive friend and let it all out. Though pick wisely who you vent to, you want someone who can treat you kindly in this period. It’s great to have a bit of a sound board too. Your friends should be supportive than a Berlei sports bra. They’ll give you an outsiders perspective and perhaps tell you a couple of things you need to hear but mightn’t see at the time, like you’re actually better off.
3. Write it down
I’m a huge fan of journalling. I wrote a post about it here. Whenever I go through a heavy time, I’ll either pull my journal out or even the notes in my phone. Writing thoughts down for me is very cathartic. It helps to clear my head to spill my emotions out onto paper rather than have them festering in my mind.
4. Find advice that resonates with you
Lot’s of people will give you their two cents and you’ll read advice that frankly makes you feel worse. I like advice that gets me to focus on the positives of the relationships ending and what can I learn from it so it doesn’t repeat in the next one. It might be that you watch a video on YouTube that you love or read an article that makes you feel more at ease and look at the situation from a different perspective you find comforting.
5. Get help professional help if you need it
If you’re finding that this is really hard to handle then I recommend talking to a professional about it. If you can feel yourself spiralling down then let someone close know how you’re feeling and head to professional for some supportive, sound advice.
6. Be nice to yourself
Beating yourself up about a breakup isn’t going to make everything miraculously repair. What probably needs repairing is your self-love. Self-love and acceptance I think is something most of us need to work on.
7. Trust the process
Realise everything happens for a reason. Right now this might feel really hard, but trust that the perfect result will happen. This might be that 2 months down the track you actually meet the man of your dreams. Or even the guy you’ve just stopped seeing knocks on your door with a bunch of flowers and a heart felt apology.
8. Do endorphin producing activities
Do stuff that makes you feel good. Bake cupcakes. Go for a run. Sit down and watch episode after episode of The Following with Kevin Bacon. For me, I always try to move. This could be walking to get a coffee or even putting on my stretching dvd and moving. 100% of the time, stretching makes me feel good.
9. Write them a letter
Write down everything you want to tell them that you didn’t get a chance. This is such a great tool for closure. I do this with all my breakups. Sometimes I’ll physically write them a letter. Other times I’ll just craft a big text message. I never send these either mind you. I just want to get all my thoughts out and say all the things I wish I had said.
10. Don’t go looking for pain
Don’t go snooping on Facebook to see his new female friends, don’t check to see if he’s recently been active. The only thing it will do is hurt you more.