A few months ago I was sitting in a cafe chatting with one of my friends over lunch. We were both bitching about our current bodies and how we wish that we could transform back to our skinny self a year prior.
“I was so skinny”
“My abs were ah-mazing!”
“I love the fact I was completely jiggle free”
This went on for about five minutes until I stopped to ponder – was I actually happy then? I didn’t know about my friend, but I still thought at the time in my size 6 body that there was still a lot of shit that I needed to fix.
So I decided to ask.
“Were you ACTUALLY happy at that size?”.
There was an awkward silence. And then the words started blurting out.
“Ha fuck no, my ass was hideous”
“I was a size 6 and still thought I could lose 5kg”
“Ahhh at least you didn’t have saggy arms that waved when you did”
The concerning thing is we had more negative things to say about our bodies at our assumed perfect size than we did about us now. I know I definitely wasn’t happy. And although I had a supermodel body, I felt no different than the size 16 girl I was in my mid teens.
So why is it that we think a certain size will make us happy when it doesn’t.
My circle of friends might be different to yours, but I’m sure the thought patterns are still the same. Most of my friends are either models or love competing in fitness model competitions. Personally, I believe both give you a distorted view of how you actually look and makes you obsess about supposed flaws. This becomes dangerous because when do we actually stop.
We find ourselves chasing that pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, or in this case – our perfect size.
Most people look back with envious eyes to their teens when they didn’t have an ounce of cellulite and could eat whatever they like. But really look back when you were that age and remember how insecure you were and how much body hate you probably had.
Your perfect size starts with perfect mindset. We need to start treating ourselves as a best friend. It took me quite a while to accept that I’m 10 kilos heavier than I was 2 years ago. But what changed for me was crowding out that negative self talk that often goes through our minds.
I replaced the “I’m so fat, why can’t I lose weight”, with the “I’m doing so well and I look so great right now”. When we love and accept ourselves in the now, then any small weight loss feels like winning the lottery. It’s such a bonus and unexpected.
Stop glorifying the idea that thin is perfect. Stop thinking that being a certain size means that you’re overweight. Being a certain dress size can’t immediately bring you happiness. Happiness comes from within.
It’s important to be happy now. To love and accept every single ‘flaw’. Because they aren’t actually flaws, they’re just you. And I bet there are lots of people in your life that think you’re pretty rad.
Focus on loving you as you are right now. There will always be people who think you need to change but those words will have no power over you if you completely accept yourself. Oh and you don’t need those people in your life either so please cut ties if you’re constantly being dragged down.
Remember that you’re fabulous and fucking perfect just as you are. Start crowding out the negative self talk with more empowering thoughts and make a conscious effort each day to do someone nice for yourself.
Life becomes a whole lot easier when a girl starts to become her own best friend. And the only person who can change that is you.