My goals, lessons and achievements for November in my monthly letter from the editor, aka me!
I grew up reading Vogue magazine from the age of 13 and was inspired by the aspirational images and beautiful styling that featured on the pages.
I wanted to be one of those girls and I wanted that to be my life – slightly ridiculous, trend-setting and aspirational. I wanted every moment to be photoshoot worthy. Though I didn’t tell many people for fear of judgement over my love of expensive items and goal to become a model.
Reading Vogue enabled me to dream up the most creative of shoots and I guess that’s why I love doing Professional Babe so much; It means I can create those aspirational images I grew up with.
I feel a sense of pride admitting that apart from the photography, I do all of the styling, hair, makeup and of course modelling on the shoots for this site.
It makes me smile to see the finished product, especially when it turns out better than expected and that happened recently with our harnessing your power with lingerie article.
The leather harness featured in that shoot was a spontaneous buy at the time because I knew I had to shoot it. I wanted to inspire my reader to try and wear something a little more adventurous, especially after a close female friend told me she didn’t have the confidence to rock that look.
I was really excited to show you guys the finished product, though when showing a few friends, I wasn’t really prepared for the responses that I received.
I was given some business advice that wearing something that people associate with BDSM would make brands and readers turn away and attract people I don’t exactly want as a target audience (weird men pitching a tent in your pants, I’m looking at you!).
I questioned pulling the entire look from the shoot. I wondered about changing the look or making it look less sexed up.
And then I thought, no, fuck it.
This is me and this has always been me and if brands or people don’t like it then they aren’t for me.
We ended up shooting the look and it’s become some of my favourite shots. This moment made me aware that I need to be wildly authentic and not filter myself for the fear of what others think.
November was about authenticity. And being authentic, no matter the outcome.
It’s been a hard year for losing friends, rejection from men, and brands turning me down because they don’t like ‘me’.
The more authentic I became, the more people left my life or decided to tell me they didn’t like me anymore.
Whatever I did that made me feel proud or accomplished, I had people telling me why they couldn’t be friends with me or follow me anymore.
Though for every friend or follower lost, I gained at least two in their place. People that wanted to be there.
In November I stopped filtering myself as much. I stopped caring as much what other people think and although it hurts to lose people out of your life, I feel happier for it.
Authenticity is still something I struggle with on a daily basis and I think a lot of people do.
We worry that when we reveal our true selves to someone that they’ll reject us. When that happens we put up a small wall. Until one day people can’t even see the true us because we’ve become so good at hiding behind a wall so high we can’t see where it stops.
November saw me remove that wall and slowly start to show people what I’m really like.
I openly admit to letting my horoscope rule my day, my life and my decisions – because it’s cheaper than therapy you know?
I admit to loving McDonalds and Coke. Oh, and other junk food like doughnuts and condensed milk (If condensed milk is your cocaine, head to Portafilter in Newcastle and order a Happy Ending and thank me later).
I tell people that I write about sex, dating, boobs and boys and that I love writing about.
I’ll head on my Instagram stories without any makeup (or clothes!) and have candid conversations and share things that potentially shouldn’t be shared.
Because this is me and I’m becoming comfortable showing that.
Choosing to be authentic was one of the best decisions I made in 2016. And the next best decision was listening to my friend Sophie and trying doughnuts – I’m now addicted!
How can you be more authentic today?
PS. I look forward to sharing my December post that includes a recap of 2016 and a bit of a goal setting guide for 2017 in the next few weeks. If you want to read my previous entry, click here.