How to transform your face using the essentials you’ll find in any man’s bathroom.
I used to be an ex-cheerleader whose sense of fashion included too much fake tan, a full face of makeup and false eyelashes for dramatic effect.
One particular night, I was out at a place called the Delaney and ran into a gorgeous man. By society’s standards, he was the typical hot guy. Tall, dark and handsome (and later I would find out he was very, very dumb).
We had a particularly vapid conversation for five minutes and when he asked me out, my vagina chimed in and shouted yes before my brain kicked in and realised this was a bad idea. (Side note: This guy actually went on to become my boyfriend. Our second date was his work event and our third date was a holiday. I have lots of material surrounding this guy!)
A few days later I was kitted up in my usual ho uniform and we went for Thai food. The date lasted all of an hour before he invited me back to his house to watch movies. Movies! I seriously thought he meant we’d watch movies. Instead, he meant an adult sleepover which naive little Peta couldn’t quite get her head around.
When I woke up the next day, I caught sight of myself in a mirror and my shriek of shock woke him up. I’m usually the kind of girl who always cleanses, tones and moisturises before they go to bed, so you can imagine my surprise when I wake up with a false eyelash stuck to my chin.
I had a shower in an attempt to remove all sins which only made it worse. He insisted I look great and we go out for breakfast – mind you, to the busiest restaurant in town. We ended up running into everyone we knew, including my best friend who dragged me shopping so I could fill her in.
Like the situation above, I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to make do with minimal bathroom supplies.
It’s taken a lot of practice (cough) but I’ve learned ways to use minimal products you can find in anyone’s house to transform your look from slept in mess to runway worthy.
You’ve hit a jackpot if you’ve woken up at a girlfriends house post booze session and she has the contents of Mecca in her bathroom, but that’s unlikely or if your new bedtime playmate has your favourite micellar water, though fear not, you don’t need a lot to transform your look.
The first thing you’ll want to do is get in a shower and wash away all sins (except me who worries about athletes foot far too often) but make sure you avoid getting your face wet and to keep it relatively cool so your hair doesn’t frizz up. Tie your hair up with your underwear – if you can find it – as it’s unlikely he has a brush you can use post-shower.
SUPPLIES YOU NEED
– You’ll need any form of oil such as olive, coconut, almond etc. You will find this in their pantry
– Toilet paper
– Cotton buds
– Any form of moisturising cream – whether for the face, hands or body. Men always have this and if they don’t they’re fucking liars. We all know they use it to do you-know-what
– Baby powder. I have no idea why all men seem to have this but I’ve convinced myself its to talc their balls.
Tie your hair up. Underwear works well. Try to smooth it back into a low bun. This will help to smooth things out while you sort your face out. Have a shower if you need to.
Oil will remove all makeup. If you’re comfortable being makeup free and know that the oil won’t make you break out, then go to town with oil and toilet paper and remove your makeup.
I will use oil to remove any form of lip product present or if I feel comfortable being makeup free, I’ll clean my whole face. Fold toilet paper and clean, clean, clean!
Moisturiser will also remove makeup so apply under your eyes and leave to sit for a few seconds. Grab more toilet paper or better yet a cotton bud and clean the under eye area swiping in one motion up to the end of your eyebrow – this will result in a cat-like eye. Make sure to use a clean cotton but with every swipe.
Most girls have some form of makeup with them – except if you’re me and I just have an endless supply of tampons and pens. Use your concealer or pressed powder under your eyes with some lip gloss to finish off the look.
You can now undo your hair and put your underwear back on – remember this step, I’ve been out before with the g string bun and didn’t realise until someone said how weird it was that I had a bow in my hair. If you need dry shampoo, you can use a small amount of baby powder on your roots.
Step out of the bathroom looking like the VS supermodel you are ready to brunch, lunch, go again or head to work. Oh and a breath mint or stick of gum will also make you feel like a new woman too!
Being a girl is hard enough, so I hope this post finds those that need it. And while I’ve got you here, there’s nothing wrong with casual sex – just make sure you’re safe, not hurting anyone and of course, having fun.
PS. This look is 100% authentic and completely true to using the products mentioned.