I have a regular column at SheSaid where I talk about dating, relationships, sex and single life. My latest article talks about how verbal diarrhoea on a date actually worked in my favour.
Recently on a date, I decided to change up my usual polished ‘cool girl’ act by giving less of a fuck.
I’m unsure if I was subconsciously trying to sabotage my chances at finding love, but I was an open book with quirks and skeletons I’d typically hold off revealing on first meeting. I not only shared the fact I’d genuinely considered getting a sugar daddy, but I also talked about my love of dating and the fact I’ve literally never had a long-term relationship.
And to my surprise, my date couldn’t wait to ask me out again.
Our candid conversation went against everything relationship experts say you should talk about on a first date, so why was he so pleasantly attracted to me?
Have we been doing it wrong all these years?
I’d always been told to present the ‘best version’ of myself early in the dating process, and tiresomely committed to the role of being the coolest girl my dates have ever had the privilege of taking out; but the act was, quite frankly, exhausting.
I was tired and fed up from previous dates dedicated to pitch-perfect performances that didn’t seem to pay off, so went against everything I knew and dropped my agenda to find Mr Right or make a good impression at all and instead simply set out to meet another human by acting like a human myself.
There was no acting, forced laughter or carefully thought-out witticisms crafted to prove my ability to be the epitome of the perfect girlfriend. In fact, if you were a fly on the wall, you may have gone as far as to describe our date conversation as a giant trainwreck. I was a big red flag with a bad case of verbal diarrhoea, yet my date sat there with his eyes beaming, intently listening and hanging onto my every word.
There was no questionnaire to work out what we both wanted from a relationship, and no pressure to perform to ensure we both qualified for a second date. I just laid my crazy out on the table and went into the date with the sole intention of having fun.
Read the rest of the article at SheSaid.com…
Photography by Alex Jack.