I have a regular column at SheSaid where I talk about dating, relationships, sex and single life. My latest article addresses the signs that you need to take a break from dating ASAP.
If you’ve been swiping in the online dating world for a few years now, I bet you can hold your guilty hand up and say you’ve made a few shitty choices out of fear of being alone.
You start to view the idea of having a relationship with rose-tinted glasses, and romanticise the potential of what could be with every date you’ve scheduled for the weekend. You figure if you date every single guy in your town, one of them has to be your Prince…right? Except lowering your standards has just made you cynical about the idea of ever finding love. Oh, and this attitude is usually accompanied by a sympathy shag from your shitty ex…
That was me a year ago.
I’d self-diagnosed myself with dating burnout. I know you aren’t meant to turn to the internet for medical diagnoses, but I needed answers for the sudden pangs of anxiety whenever I thought about my love life.
I felt like time was running out for me and that I needed to date every man in my town so I could meet my perfect match. And the result was many terrible dates and one-nighters I still cringe about.
This self-destructive approach wasn’t healthy, and the internet backed me up on that; Dr Google diagnosed me as having ‘dating burnout’. I was using men and dating as Band-Aids to mask the pain from the previous crappy date. But the cure for my current illness wasn’t another man-related Band-Aid, it was taking a step back from the dating game altogether.
So if you’re showing any of these symptoms of dating burnout, I’d definitely prescribe deleting all your apps and taking a step back from dating altogether…
1. Every occasion is about finding penis
You’re so desperate to meet someone that you quiz your friends on the possibility of eligible bachelors at the next event. Your spend hours preening and psyching yourself up for what could be the day you find Mr Right…only to be disappointed that your friend was right, there are no fuckable men at a baby shower.
2. Standards have gone out the window
Every bad date has you crossing out a quality you promised yourself you wouldn’t compromise on when it came to finding love. Your current standard? A divorced 40-something guy who lives in his mother’s garage and snacks on day-old pizza he stores under his bed.
Read the rest of the article at SheSaid.com…
Photography by Alex Jack.